Average dating time before marriage statistics

07 Feb

I’ve been getting into it recently with some readers who have a slightly different take on when people should get engaged. One reader on my Facebook page wrote: “When a man’s in love he wants to propose as soon as he can.” Needless to say, I disagree with that. If you expect your marriage to be otherwise, you’ve got a big surprise waiting for you. There are MANY men who propose as soon as they can when they’re in love. In it, Professor Ted Huston studies 168 couples for ten years. “Researchers saw some typical changes that take place in all marriages during the first couple of years: fewer overt displays of affection; less sex; and fewer leisure activities together, as the relationship evolves from a romantic, recreational relationship to something like a working partnership.” This is all normal and predictable, says the married dating coach.

"Once we've found someone to settle down with perhaps we're inclined to look only at the negative aspects of the dating journey.'' The study of 2,000 Brits who say they have already met 'The One' found that women will also go on seven dates - as well as a further two blind dates and two dates with someone they met over the internet.

Another reader – who was attempting to shoot down my assertion that you should ideally wait 2-3 years before getting engaged – sent me a link to a super-informative article.

“The fact of a couple moving quickly toward marriage is not in and of itself a problem as much as what is driving the speed.

Some of the four-year-olds were able to control their impulse to snatch up and consume their marshmallows for the duration of Mischel’s 15–20-minute errand (which must have felt like several lifetimes for these four-year-olds). Mischel followed up with his subjects many years later and found that the ability to control impulses and delay gratification was associated with success in many different areas of life as an adult.

So, in the realm to waiting a sufficient length of time before marrying, are you willing to wait for an endless supply of lovely marshmallows, or do you want to bite down, right now, on something that resembles a marshmallow but may well turn into a bag of pus once you’ve committed?