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It’s common for newbies to be nervous before an ayahuasca ceremony. (You know, the type that allows the Kung Fu masters to break stacks of concrete blocks with a single hand chop.) In the Upper Amazon, Mother Ayahuasca is described as a jealous lover. If you’re seeking a super-duper big-ass experience, try being abstinent for, like, six weeks or longer, if you can manage. Remember, you’re not having a “drug experience” — this is a (something not emphasized enough in descriptions, I feel) and certain things are done that seem odd to a person raised in a non-shamanic culture. In the Amazon, this would be thought of in terms of guarding against evil spirits, dark energies, and so on.

I’d flown into Iquitos a day early, too, so I’d had more time to shift gears. I believe the moment you decide to participate in ayahuasca ceremony the medicine starts working on you. This is to make oneself more appealing to the plant energies. (Some practitioners simply spray some floral water on you that smells a bit like the stuff they use in old-fashioned men’s barber shops.) 5. I don’t smoke and personally hate the smell of cigarettes, but tobacco is a sacred plant in shamanic practice so you need to get used to it.

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Don’t let her hold you back.” Men tell me all the time that this is the kind of advice they are being given. And it can feel like such a relief to hear that her rage and withdrawal and mood swings are not your fault. I say this not to shame you, but to hopefully help make all this a little easier on you. She is doubting everything because you gave her reason to. Ask her how you can help her feel safer about your recovery. Instead of being frustrated that she is not where you would like her to be in her healing process, consider how blessed you are that she is still here at all!

One way you can make your relationship with your wife go a little more smoothly is to keep her informed of what your recovery looks like and even allow her to be involved. Ask her what you can do to make her feel like she is a part of your recovery. If your wife is the one who sent you this article, don’t get upset or feel like she is trying to control you. The above examples of what wives want and deserve to know can feel daunting.