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26 Nov

I'm seeing a person who a) is a photographer and b) lives in a different country and c) is far more visual than me. I'm now relearning intimacy through a whole new medium. It's not like being right there with someone, but it also doesn't let your imagination run wild like phone sex or sending dirty emails; it's some whole new thing, with its own drawbacks and its own distinct pleasures. Skype sex is like watching porn that stars a person who (hopefully) you know for real, who's aware that you're watching them.

I'm still figuring it all out, but here are a few tips I've learned from my foray into this brave new world of e-humping. It's like porn you direct and co-star in, which is both exciting and nerve-wracking.

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Even though you might be thinking, "My God, those are the greatest pectoral muscles in the history of pectoral muscles," there's no way for your partner to know that unless you spit it out. Personally, I couldn't care less if there are naked pictures of me on the internet, since there already naked pictures of me on the internet. Skype and most other video chat services include a little picture of you nested in the big picture of the person you're chatting with. The person you're all twitterpated over could turn out to be a jerk.

That's nice, because it means that if you try to screengrab their bits, you're going to get your bits all up in the photo, too. If it really makes you uncomfortable (remember: dies on the internet. If you're cool with that risk, know that you're in charge of what your partner sees.

But I recently started having semi-regular Skype sex, and realized that I hadn't felt this sexually inept since I was a terrified teenager.

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